Painting Is Funny. Painters Are Not.

I’m going to begin today’s speech with a little survey and audience participation.

(Hold up pictures of Rembrandt and Van Gogh.) How many of you have heard of Rembrandt van Rijn? How about this man? That’s right. He is Vincent Van Gogh.

Now, here comes the trick question. Before I joined Toastmasters back in January, how many of you ever heard of Mark Luczak?

I’m not surprised.

And yet, of these three, who has had more formal training and spent more years studying art? That’s right. I’ve spent more as a student at the Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Art than Rembrandt or Van Gogh spent at any art school.

What’s that? You heard right. Maybe if I were any good I would not have had to spend so many years in art school. Yes, there is a difference between being a good art student and a rich and/or famous artist.

That old saying, “It’s not where you start, it’s where you finish.” It didn’t apply to these guys. Remember that neither Rembrandt or Van Gogh had very easy lives. Certainly, theirs were not “cushy” as my life has been. Both died penniless, completely alone, and in Van Gogh’s case, by his own hand.

I may not be rich, but I "eat regular" (i.e., several times a day). By the time he was my age, Van Gogh was dead and Rembrandt was broke and living in an “Inn.” When he died, his body was found in a barn by one of his many creditors before any family member missed him.

So, I have outlived Van Gogh by twenty years and only have six years to go to catch Rembrandt. So what?

See, THAT, to me, anyway, is the funny part—the lengths to which I will go sometimes to compare myself with others. Even though I know better.

There is a saying about comparing yourself to others. That there will always be greater and lesser souls than you. But, others, like Steven Covey and Tony Robbins among many others, have made fortunes by writing books comparing successful people with, pardon the expression, losers. And identifying the "key" differences.

OK, so Steven Covey and Tony Robbins never once mentioned me in their books. (Neither as a good example nor a bad one. So I guess that's one for me.) They never talk about painters, period. Painters are rarely financially successful.

So, let’s review what we have learned about painters so far. They’re rarely rich. They’re usually not successful. And the most famous ones are dead.

But I promised you that paintings are funny. Here comes the funny part. Has anyone here ever heard of Thomas Kincade? Thomas Kincade is a painter. Is he dead or alive? Is he rich and famous? I see some heads nodding in recognition. So, he is known.

In fact, he is so famous that he doesn’t even have to paint paintings to sell them! They are made into puzzles that people put together and frame and hang them on their walls. Hey, I’ve got one in my house! And a coffee mug, too.

He always places a certain number of birds in his pictures. IF there is a mailbox in the painting, the number on the mailbox corresponds to the age or the birthday of one of his children, or something like that. Isn’t that clever?

Don’t worry about looking for ‘art school’-type things with Tom. Just count the birdies.

Another one of my favorites funnies is ‘elephant paintings.’ Have you heard of these? They’re not paintings OF elephants. They’re paintings BY elephants.

Evidently, the way it works is that they teach the elephants how to use a paintbrush. (THAT took me years of art school!!)

What do people think? Someday, the elephant will die and his ’body of work’ will be worth a fortune. Well, I say, "Good for him, if he can make a living painting."

As for me, I won’t be worried. I know I’m better than any elephant.

There is one thing I wonder about though. What if, one day, an elephant walks in here and wants to try to become a certified toastmaster?

THEN, I’ll worry.